Resident Evil Requiem is here, and it delivers some of the most memorable zombies in the series to date. Far more than your average undead shamblers, this latest T-virus strain preserves some of the memories and core characteristics of its host – leading to an assortment of amusing and sometimes even quite endearing behaviours.
With Resi fans across practically every social media platform hard at work debating which of this title’s evil residents is the best, I’ve been thinking hard about all the ones that I would potentially want to hang out with.
5. The lights guy
Pros
✅ Keeps your electricity bill down
Cons
❌ Probably wouldn’t let you turn the heating on in winter
This budget-conscious king is one of the first and most memorable zombies that you encounter.
Obsessed with turning off any and all lights that he sees, like any true pal, he is completely devoted to ensuring that your electricity bill will never spiral out of control. Accidentally leaving all of your plugs on when you head out for a holiday would be a thing of the past with him on hand – thoughtfully saving you cash and reducing the risk of coming back to the aftermath of a house fire, too.
The catch? If he’s this anal over the cost of running the lights, just imagine how incensed he would be if he caught you cooking with an electric hob or trying to put the heating on in winter. This is one friend that you wouldn’t want to invite over for Christmas dinner unless you particularly enjoy picking at cold turkey in a pitch-black, freezing dining room.
4. The big chef
Pros
✅ Will cook you delicious meals
✅ Super strong
Cons
❌ Never washes the dishes
From a zombie that would likely be anti-cooking to the master chef himself, next on my list is the Care Centre’s hulking kitchen hand.
Rhythmically chopping away a pile of suspicious meat while occasionally dropping chunks into a simply delicious-looking pot of red soup (the color is the result of a tomato base, I assume), you’re going to want this guy on speed dial next time you’re planning a dinner party.
From attractive appetisers to full three-course meals, he would have everything covered when it comes to cuisine. He’s also obviously pretty strong to boot, helping him cut through even the toughest ingredients with ease.
My only concern is that I don’t think he knows how to make any vegetarian dishes, and, judging by the state of his kitchen in-game, he’s not exactly fond of cleaning up after the meal has been served.
3. The cleaning zombie
Pros
✅ Keeps everything tidy
✅ Can polish any surface
The perfect antidote to the chef’s untidiness is, of course, the cleaning zombie that inhabits the bathroom just next door.
Scrubbing away at a dirty mirror while surrounded by a wealth of cleaning supplies, she would not rest until the aftermath of even the most hectic house party was tidied up.
You wouldn’t need to worry about having lazy housemates either. Invite her over, and you can be sure that even the dirtiest shower would be thoroughly scrubbed, putting an end to a common source of arguments and frustration.
She’s a bit of a perfectionist, though, and is probably much more interested in ensuring that everywhere is spotless than actually hanging out with you.
2. The construction cadaver
Pros
✅ Forklift certified
✅ Can do your DIY jobs
Cons
❌ Operates heavy machinery at night
There are a handful of these construction-worker-turned-zombies throughout Requiem, and I can’t help but think about how useful it would be to have one in my contact book.
Say goodbye to rip-off quotes for odd jobs, as this guy would happily help you assemble an Ikea bookcase or repair that annoying hole in the fence. Doing everything safely is his number one priority (evidenced by his commitment to wearing a hard hat), so you can rely on him to help you avoid injuries.
Like any tradesman, he’s going to be a blast at the pub and could probably sink pints like you wouldn’t believe. Just be warned that your sleep schedule might suffer from your friendship, as we see in-game that he has no qualms operating heavy machinery like bulldozers in the middle of the night.
1. The undead diva
Pros
✅ Lovely singing
✅ Great fashion sense
Cons
❌ Has to be the centre of attention
This absolute icon is easily the most stylish zombie in the game. Decked out in a fashionable gothic-inspired dress, she’s likely a full-time influencer when she’s not terrorising protagonist Grace Ashcroft and would be right at the top of my list for inviting on a night out.
When you’re not taking selfies together, she’s not afraid to show off her singing talents, making her the perfect companion for belting out songs in the karaoke booth after downing a few glittery cocktails. Her TikTok game is definitely A+ as well, so expect plenty of great videos of the night.
Unfortunately, she simply has to be the centre of attention, which might cause arguments if you try to add her to your existing friend group.
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dash.wood@futurenet.com (Dashiell Wood)
