How to tell if your kids are using a VPN – and should you be worried?

VPNs are tools of online privacy and data security but their server-hopping capabilities have recently hit the headlines.

Under 18s in the UK, US and now Australia are looking to VPNs to avoid age checks and access content that has become age-gated by law. Some of this you might be ok with but some of this could be sites, services and videos that you’d really rather that they didn’t see.

So, how can you tell if your child is using a VPN? What are the signs to look out for? And are VPNs actually something you should be worried about? Here’s what you need to know.

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What they’re watching

How much does your child watch online? Any streaming service they use you most likely signed up for yourself. So, if your child mentions that they were watching something you suspect that they shouldn’t be able to access, how might they be doing that?

Connecting to a streaming service using a VPN can enable a child to not only bypass many parental control blocks, but also access content in other countries that they shouldn’t.

If your child is doing this, this is a breach of the fair usage agreements you accept when signing up to streaming services, so it’s best to have this conversation with them as soon as possible.

This is before considering the possibility they’ve accessed content intended for people far older than them, too.

How they’re sleeping

Every child wants to stay up past their bedtime. So, if you’ve put restrictions on their phone that limit their screen time or web and app access, it’s possible that they’ll do something to get around this.

While some parental control solutions can cut a connection at a deeper level, simpler solutions could be easily fooled. If those restrictions rely solely on an IP address, for example, a VPN would use a new IP to connect online, rendering this technique useless.

So, a VPN could enable your child to continue streaming or gaming well into the night without you noticing.

While you can always stay up and see if you can hear anything, it’s just as simple to keep an eye on whether your child suddenly starts waking up later or is generally more tired. If you can get hold of their phone, you can also check their on-device screen time directly, which cannot be altered by a VPN.

Phone usage

A further consequence of this unrestricted access could be increased strain on your child’s devices.

Has your phone bill suddenly shown increased data usage? By encrypting online traffic, a VPN increases the amount of data required for normal online tasks. So if your child is using a VPN to access streaming services, games, or the like, once you’ve turned off the WiFi, you’d see an increase in data usage compared to the months when they might’ve only used their mobile data.

This isn’t something to be concerned about unless, of course, it’s made your phone bill increase.

You might also notice that your child needs to charge their phone more. Since a VPN constantly encrypts traffic leaving your device, including background traffic, it increases the battery your device uses compared to running without a VPN. On newer devices, this may be less noticeable, but on older or less powerful devices, you may quickly notice your child needing to charge their phone an extra time each day without explanation.

What if I use a parental control app?

An adult and two children sitting on a couch together — (Image credit: Pexels)

While parental control apps can be a great solution for keeping a rough eye on your child’s time online, none are faultless.

Since VPNs encrypt online traffic and provide a new IP, they can be capable of rendering such apps redundant. However, if you’re using one of these apps, you might be able to spot if your child is using a VPN by a couple of means:

No tracked activity: the new IP address provided by the VPN could mean the app cannot track how much time your child is spending online

Tampering notifications: Some parental control apps will notify the parents if the child tries to uninstall or modify the settings of the app in any way. Since a VPN impacts the network connection on the device, you may receive tampering notifications when your child connects to one.

Other things to consider

Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to spotting if your child is using a VPN. While some of the indicators are more obvious, there are several other ways you could find out, including:

Your child’s tech literacy: Has your child suddenly become more knowledgeable about the online world? This could be coming from them researching VPNs as a way to bypass the new restrictions.

App icons: Have you spotted any unusual app icons on your child’s device? These could well be VPNs. Look for VPN in the name, or alternatively, security-related symbols such as locks and keys that could indicate it’s a security-focused application.

Internet speeds: Has your child complained about your internet connection more frequently? Due to the strain VPN encryption adds to a connection, this could result in slower connections on the device. So, if they’re suddenly encountering issues, it could be a VPN causing it.

If they are using a VPN what can you do?

VPN apps on iPhone — (Image credit: Getty Images)

If you think your child is using a VPN, this doesn’t mean you have to stop them. In fact, using a VPN is a great way to stay secure online so, if used correctly, this is something to be encouraged. To support this you could:

Get them using a VPN with parental controls: VPNs such as Norton VPN and ExpressVPN offer parental control capabilities. Plus, they’re simple enough that if you’ve never used a VPN before, you can quickly get to grips with what they’re capable of.

Make sure they’re using a trustworthy option: We regularly see that downloads for untrustworthy VPNs increase when age verification is introduced. Make sure the VPN your child is using is a safe option. You can do this by checking out our best VPN page or any of our reviews

Ensure they’re using safe settings: If you’ve used a VPN before, you could also take a look at the settings your child is using. Are they using a secure protocol such as WireGuard or OpenVPN? Are they unintentionally giving them access to unsafe areas of the internet such as the dark web?

In short, if your child is using a VPN, this doesn’t immediately mean they’re unsafe or doing wrong. But, make sure you have the conversation with them about how to use one safely, and what they should (and shouldn’t) use one for.