Nicole Kidman on Becoming a Death Doula, ‘Harrowing’ Passing of Mother

Nicole Kidman says she’s seen the public response to her training to become a death doula, but she finds the act of supporting people and their families in their final moments together “beautiful” and “very important to me.”

“I did this talk recently where I said I’m expanding into learning to be a death doula, which seemed to have people confused or intrigued,” the actress and producer told a Philadelphia audience at the Marian Anderson Hall at the Kimmel Center on Saturday as part of HISTORYTalks 2026, a live speaker series produced by The History Channel. 

After describing wanting to help people and families be present and navigate their final moments together, she described the work of a death doula as “really fascinating. It’s very beautiful, and you have to be a certain personality to be able to do it. But I found out that I’m actually that personality. It’s very important to me. There is always suffering, but if there are people there who can help with that, help those final stages be less painful — if you feel the connection in your heart, then that’s lovely. So that’s what I’m exploring.”

Kidman shared her thoughts on the practice after discussing the experience of learning that her mother had passed away in September 2024 while the actress was being honored at a film festival. “I’d won best actress at Venice Film Festival. This seems to be such a common theme through my life. I was about to go on stage, and I found out my mother had died. I went right back to the room in Venice, got into bed and was completely devastated,” she recalled. Kidman said she found herself not knowing how to function or move forward as her mother “was so much a part of my existence, so the idea of being there at that particular moment was harrowing.”  

“I remember getting into a boat in the canal, and literally at night trying to find my way to the airport, and then turning around and going, I can’t even do this. And then went back into the bed, and I was alone. My husband wasn’t there. My children weren’t there. I’d gone to win an award. What should have been a beautiful thing, ended up with that,” she continued. “But there is the contrast of life, and that’s what I always say to people. I say that’s when I know I’m resilient. That’s when I know I can survive pretty much anything.”

The Scarpetta and Nine Perfect Strangers star and producer noted that in her relationship to life and art, “I don’t think I ever sought peace. I sought exploration of the human condition,” and that she also considers herself not a celebrity but a worker. “I’m a worker bee, I love to be in the world working, and I love to provide work if I can for others, and I love to do the work.”

Kidman was just one of the speakers during the annual day-long conversation series that explored the connections between politics, comedy, entertainment, sports and American history through the lens of leadership and legacy. The event was hosted as part of a larger, year-long celebration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States of America and in conjunction with Comcast NBCUniversal. As such, Kidman also addressed her own historical relationship to the country. 

“I came here and [have] lived in so many different places, and my work was so transient, so I have seen so much of the United States,” said the actress, who was born in Hawaii, lived in D.C. for several years growing up, has lived in California, and Nashville, where she raised her children with Keith Urban. “I love that I’ve seen it in a very specific way. I’ve seen all elements of it filming in different states, living in California, but also my ex-husband traveled on a tour bus all over America. It’s actually extraordinary because of the people. You meet people. I feel so much a part of this country, not through just birth, but through actually existing here.”

As part of that larger conversation, Kidman spoke about her journey not just with death or with working and living in America, but with becoming a producer later in her career. During the chat with moderator Hoda Kotb, Kidman recalled moving to Nashville while pregnant, becoming a mother, and wondering if she would officially retire from acting. She pointed to her mother, who encouraged her to not “completely give up” the thing she had been doing since she was 14. Kidman said it prompted her to ask, “Well, what can I do that isn’t as taxing on me so that I can be present for my child? And producing suddenly became a much, much more interesting road.” It would lead her to Rabbit Hole. 

“I read a review of a play called Rabbit Hole, which was about the loss of a child, and I thought, what a wonderful thing to do having just given birth — this is how strange I am to go and to do a film about the thing I am most terrified of — to go and connect to the people that I now have such deep compassion for and want to understand and want to help,” she told the Philadelphia crowd. No one wanted to give us money. It was a $3.5 million film. We had to beg for every cent. But we got it made. It was scrappy, and it was a passion, and that was the beginning of my producing career.”

It would also be the first step into a future of centering women in film and TC on- and off-screen. “There’s so many more opportunities. I have two shows right now where primarily it’s women in the director’s seat, the writer’s seat, the showrunner’s seat, and stories about women. That 20 years ago was not the case. So that is enormous change,” she told Kotb. “The percentages are still incredibly low, comparatively. I think we’re still looking at in terms of female directors 14 percent. Maybe it’s 16 percent now. It’s good to say those numbers because I think people think it’s all fine now. No, it’s still such an enormous gap. But I’m making changes [with] women who have the position to go, ‘I can greenlight this, I can get this made, and I want to put a female at the helm. How do I do that?’ I can say that’s what I want, and that’s actually the grassroots change.”