Woody Shouldn’t Even Be in Toy Story 5

Because of… all this, there’s just not enough room for everyone in an animated series that has become the children’s equivalent of the Fast & Furious franchise, where enemies become allies and no member of the family (sorry, toy) gets left behind. Most of the original Toy Story crew, and several of Bonnie’s “new” toys — with the exception of Forky and Mr. Pricklepants (John Hopkins — barely get any lines, and a whole swath of the movie finds them collectively stuck in a box in the back of the garage, not even trying to escape as they might have done in previous films.

But of the unnecessary-to-the-plot lot, the worst offender is a character who used to be our number one guy: Woody. In case you forgot, Woody left the group at the end of Toy Story 4, teaming up with Bo Peep (Annie Potts) to help rescue lost toys, with the understanding that Bonnie didn’t need him anymore and it was okay for him to move on. Whether that’s to his current mission of helping other toys who feel lost, or to allow himself to find the next kid he can make happy — either way, Woody said an emotional goodbye.

That goodbye also provided a rare bit of closure for a children’s franchise. Though the cast has expanded, Woody has always been the main character, with Buzz a close number two; they’ve been our window to the world of toys, with Woody as the character who often best came to either understand or impart the lesson of the movie. Having him say goodbye in the previous film was a way of passing the torch on to other characters, which Toy Story 5 mostly does by centering Jessie as the lead.

But they do bring Woody back anyway, and the movie works overtime to explain why he’s there. Jessie gives him a call when she’s feeling lost and worried, which is a nice enough scene, and things could have been left at that. We have Woody, fulfilled with his new journey on the road, and Jessie left to figure things out on her own, worried that she can’t quite live up to the toy-leading legacy he left behind. Instead, thanks to a spotty walkie-talkie connection — seriously, how powerful is that signal that they can connect from anywhere in the world? — Woody thinks he hears Jessie asking for her deputy (that would be Buzz, but Woody thinks he’s the deputy) to come back and help against the rogue tech of Lilypad (Greta Lee). When he does show up, there’s some sparring with Buzz, who feels mildly threatened as Jessie’s number two. But mostly, Woody is there to be the butt of jokes, from riding a tiny horse toy to frequent jabs about him being an “old man toy,” right down to saggy stuffing standing in for a beer belly and a rubbed-off section of his head aping a bald spot.

Ultimately, though, the plot would have proceeded essentially the same way whether Woody was there or not. Buzz could have still gone after Jessie when she’s lost at Emily’s/Blaze’s house. Jessie’s journey also remains entirely unaffected by Woody’s return, other than some supportive words here and there that could have been handed to any of the other characters. But perhaps even worse, there’s no change for Woody. He’s not dealing with a mid-life (mid-toy?) crisis or wrestling with aging himself; it’s just a running joke. He’s happy with his life on the road with Bo Peep and Duke Caboom (Keanu Reeves) when the movie starts, and he’s happy to return there when it ends. Nothing is changed by Woody’s inclusion, and he therefore subtracts from the film merely by his lack of addition.

Are there reasons for including Woody in the film? Absolutely, though they have nothing to do with the content of the movie itself. It’s because Tom Hanks is an iconic actor returning to an iconic role, and if he wasn’t in the movie, there would be a lot of people asking “Where’s Woody?” But more than that, Disney has theme parks and merchandise to think about, and those Toy Story tie-ins — whether they’re toys in your local Walmart or costumed actors in Walt Disney World — need to be Woody, Buzz, and Jessie. Conan O’Brien’s toilet-training tool, Smarty Pants, has an exponentially bigger role than Woody in the film and a more satisfying emotional journey, but (no offense to Conan) Smarty Pants is not going to move those lunchboxes and Funko Pops off the shelves.

From an artistic perspective: Could they have left Woody to the side? Absolutely. Frankly, some of the other toys could have gone as well to make the scenes less cluttered and frenetic. It wouldn’t be the first time toys have disappeared from the Toy Story movies either. To wit, Wheezy Penguin (Joe Ranft) — who was key to Pixar figuring out the plot of Toy Story 2 — hasn’t appeared since that movie. Barbie and Ken stayed at Sunnyside Daycare in Toy Story 3 and only briefly appeared in Toy Story 4. Woody, we may have mentioned before, left with closure to his character arc; without Andy, he was (eventually) happy to move on to newer and hopefully better things.

Is there even a world where the Toy Story movies split in two, allowing Woody to have his own adventures without increasingly convoluted excuses for bringing him back to Bonnie’s house? Absolutely, whether that’s in a Disney+ series or a spin-off movie franchise titled Woody: A Toy Story Story. Heck, you wouldn’t even have to go that route, because the franchise is called Toy Story, which implies different stories about toys. Have Toy Story 6 be a story about Woody, then make Toy Story 7 about Buzz, Jessie, and of course Smarty Pants, everyone’s favorite toilet training toy (sorry again, Conan; we love you).

But having Woody come back this way, without adding anything to the narrative, does a disservice not just to the legacy of Toy Story but Woody as a character. He’s a cowboy, after all; let him ride off into the sunset.