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I feel as though I’m going mad when I say there was once a time when Ryan Murphy TV shows were fresh, bold and innovative. Nip/Tuck was a scathing satirical putdown of cosmetic surgery culture in the early 2000s, Glee – while completely unhinged – dominated the television zeitgeist in a way no other show was daring to, and the first three seasons of American Horror Story were bona fide masterpieces.
Unsurprisingly, Murphy’s track history likely means that streamers like Hulu and Disney are all but happy to throw money his way and wait for the next big thing to materialize… except, this isn’t really happening anymore. While shows like 9-1-1 are getting more grandiose by the minute (Angela Bassett in space? Really), others including American Sports Story and Grotesquerie fell off the radar and were quickly cancelled.
The Beauty on FX is The Substance-turned-STD, and everything about it is wrong
I know that you won’t want to watch this series based on the above trailer, but let me set the scene for you anyway. Two FBI agents (played by Evan Peters and Rebecca Hall) travel across Europe to unravel the mysterious death of a group of supermodels. None of them appear to know each other, but all have the same symptoms – a virus, burning alive from the inside and spontaneously exploding upon death.
This either sounds like the recipe for absurd hilarity or insightful social commentary, but The Beauty is neither. After you’ve finished being baffled by Bella Hadid’s out-of-place cameo, you’re left feeling nothing aside from wondering how the series was green lit in the first place. We had The Substance last year, so we hardly need its knockoff little sister.
It doesn’t take long for The Beauty to hit you over the head with its intended messaging of “what will people risk in order to be beautiful?”. You could argue that a plethora of shows and movies have mulled over this age-old question already, ironically beginning with Nip/Tuck itself. Truthfully, we know what people would risk to be attractive (everything), and the critical analysis ends there.
Murphy is clearly churning out old ideas here, and there’s nothing of merit or value contained within any single scene. The decision to make the killer virus a sexually transmitted disease (STD) is morally ambiguous, particularly when you consider Murphy’s deft handling of the AIDS crisis in Pose. Is this meant to be an ironic nod to real-life history? Is it merely intended to shock whoever is watching? Condom sales might increase after this, but not much else will.
Go girl, give us nothing
But let’s put the gory gimmicks and missed narrative opportunities to one side. What else do we have left? Peters and Hall are secretly lovers, but don’t have an ounce of chemistry between them. This makes flogging an already dead horse even trickier, because there’s almost no incentive to watch. Murphy has already told us how our exploding supermodels die thanks to the mutant sex virus, so where’s the payoff?
There’s also the gauche notion that “fat is bad” that plays through the center of the story, and that’s neither fitting for 2026 nor is it an original thought. 20 years ago, Murphy could have been lauded as daring by tackling body image head-on, but now it’s just uncomfortable to watch slim actors in fat suits. Again, there’s nothing of value to making this a worthwhile endeavor.
So we’re left with a mis-matched, tone-deaf, mundane splatter of madness on our screens, and I’d rather have been blasted straight in the face with the VFX department’s guts like an Italian horror movie from the 80s. Perhaps that way, I’d have felt something.
During the international press tour, I saw star Ashton Kutcher talk about The Beauty as if nobody has dared to make television like this before. I have to wonder if he’s actually ever watched TV before now, and that’s before I consider that his ex-wife Demi Moore examined this same topic in an infinitely more successful way.
Our only two wins are the brash pop soundtrack and a cameo role from the icon that is Isabella Rossellini. I don’t know what Murphy has got on her to get this appearance, but God is she so much better than this. We all are.
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jasmine.valentine@futurenet.com (Jasmine Valentine)
