Tinder and Bumble are tanking because they treat men badly, Grindr CEO said

“One of the things that strikes me about how Bumble and Tinder approach the world is that frankly, they don’t treat 70% of their users very well,” Arison said in an interview with Polina Pompliano, founder of media company The Profile. The two were speaking at Fortune’s annual Brainstorm Tech conference in Park City, Utah.

Men outnumber women roughly 3-to-1 on both Bumble and Tinder, yet those apps don’t try to improve or smooth men’s often-awkward experience, Arison said. Even though men are the ones who more often pay for premium services, he said, their experience remains frustrating, leading many to quit online dating. 

That exodus pans out in research: 79% of college students and other Gen Zers  – in the age group that is by far dating apps’ largest audience – are forgoing regular dating app usage for in-person interactions, according to an Axios and Generation Lab study from October 2023. 

In light of that decline, apps are “missing an opportunity” to expand their audience, Arison said. 

“You have this huge percentage of men who are looking to settle down and looking to find a partner, and they are very captive to the product when they’re there. Why not build a lot of features for them?” Arison asked. 

Arison’s not alone in being puzzled. Connell Barrett, founder of coaching site Dating Transformation and a popular dating advisor on Instagram, told Fortune that the features dating apps provide to men don’t actually end up helping them. In his 20 years of advising men, he has never seen men be “more frustrated, fatigued, and just burnt out” with dating apps than now, he said. He attributes this fatigue to an inequality in the app – about 20% of men are getting the majority of matches, a figure that a Hinge analyst leaked, then quickly deleted, in 2017. 

“The ones who create a really good, compelling profile, they’re getting most of the matches,” Barrett said. “That means that 80% of the men are really struggling, and these are good, attractive, dateable, amazing men – I know because they’re my clients – and so I would love to see the dating apps take a more democratic view on how to help them.” 

That help could come in the form of AI-generated dating advice or a feature that allows men to talk to a dating therapist in the app, Barrett offered. Instead, apps utilize men’s frustration for their own benefit, he said. 

Dating apps’ approach is, “we’re going to ask you to upgrade to the top tier membership and give us more money, and maybe that will help you get more matches,” Barrett said. “But that doesn’t work. A problematic profile that is upgraded from gold to platinum is not going to be a more effective profile.” 

More money, more matches?

Users of all genders have accused apps like Hinge of “hiding” the most attractive profiles, unless they pay for a premium service. Hinge’s CEO denied that the app has an attractiveness score, but the app does feature “Standout” profiles, which are the ones “getting the most attention” and which a free user would have a harder chance of matching with. You can only reach out to one “Standout” a week, unless you decide to purchase more features. 

This gamification makes the dating pool more efficient, a Hinge executive said. But it could also be leading to the burnout that Barrett says is impacting men now more than ever. 

Initiatives like these prove that executives are only focused on women’s experience, according to Arison. In fact, he added that the way that executives talk about men on earnings calls with investors “is actually really negative, to the point where they’re offensive to them.” 

“I’m not even their target audience,” Arison – who is gay – said with a chuckle. “But still, as a guy, I’m offended.” 

He didn’t expand more on what he heard on earnings calls. However, comments from a May earning call with Match Group CEO Bernard Kim indicate an extensive focus on women’s experience on dating apps while not mentioning male users.

“Gen Z and women, and women’s experience in particular is our top priority,” Kim said.  “They are literally the most critical demographic for all dating apps. We know that women need to feel empowered and respected when they’re on our apps.” (Match Group owns Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid and other dating apps.)

Women report much higher rates of harassment on dating apps than men do, according to a 2020 Pew Research study. But dating apps can improve women’s experience, while also focusing on men, Arison said. 

“You can make a great experience for someone without making a bad experience for someone else,” Arison said.